What's Your Love Story?

We all have a love story. For most of us, our stories are filled with villains and tales of inadequacy rather than harmony and romance. But regardless of your past experiences, you can change this story.

My love story used to be that relationships were hard, and that somehow the struggle meant it was more romantic and worthwhile. But deep down I knew that I not only deserved better - I wanted better! Which meant, I had to create a new love story; one that aligned with my ideal relationship vision.

My new story goes something like this: Relationships are beautiful and can be easeful. Men are as wonderful as women and given the right environment, they can be as emotionally connected, too. I deserve a relationship that's filled with happiness, synchronicity, respect, fun and loads of love. Setting my boundaries protects my relationship and sets my standards for how I expect to be treated and how I will treat my partner. The way I love myself is the way my partner will love me. 

So tell me, what’s the story you’ve been telling about men, love and relationships? And how does this story align with what you actually want to be living? If it doesn't align, how can you tell this story in a way that moves you towards (and not away) your ideal relationship?

Far too often we feel compelled to tell it like it is. While I understand your wanting to tell the “truth” about how love has played out for you in the past, and possibly the present, I've got to tell you, you're not doing yourself any favours.

Words matter. The stories we tell matter. Repeated enough, they become your beliefs.  Words form affirmations, enforce patterns and build momentum. They also create the filter through which we see people and experiences. Confirmation bias is a real thing, you see. Your mind wants to feel safe in its understanding of the world, and so it will continue to seek out information and experiences that prove its beliefs (desired or not) to be true.

Ask yourself, is the story you're repeating moving you in the direction of what you actually want to be living?

By allowing yourself to speak way less about where you’ve been and way more about where you’re going, you create movement in that new direction. When you speak about your past and your exes, you can choose to reframe those stories by focusing on what you liked about them and the relationships, instead of how you were played or any other negative tale (true or not) you've been telling.

Allow yourself to talk about the kind of guy you're excited to meet or the kind of relationship you're building with your partner, the way you see it in your mind's eye. 

Create space for  new love story, the one you’d rather be living.

Peace & love,

Diana. X