Too much too soon… this pretty much applies to anything.
If you start at a pace that cannot be sustained in any area of your life, the only way to go is down. And I’m sure you don’t want to do that.
When it comes to dating, my theory and one that I’ve practiced in both directions is that when something starts too fast, when too much is said and done too soon, it usually ends just as fast. It’s never a good idea to rush things beyond the natural order of time. When one or both people in a relationship give too much, say too much and spend too much time together at the beginning of a relationship, two things are likely to happen:
a) You reach a level of seemingly deep intimacy, which in reality, contradicts with how little time you’ve actually known each other (and no matter how you slice it, how little you actually know each other); and usually one person gets frightened by how fast things are moving along
b) You begin at a level that you cannot sustain; whether it’s about how well you maintain your appearance, how often you talk, see each other, or whatever the too much too soon may be.
c) You’ve invested too much time, energy and emotion into this person, while you let other parts of your life slip away (ie work, family, friends, exercise and general “me” time), only to discover a deep dark secret about this someone – or at least something unexpected. Because the only way to know someone is through the test of…you guessed it…time.
You know how people say that romance doesn’t last forever? As a youngin of 29 years old, I cannot contest this with true confirmation; none the less, I do beg to differ. If you start slow and give little by little, you leave room for things to grow. And when you think about it, if you’re really going to spend the rest of your life (or a good majority of it) with someone, then not only do you have the time to say and do all the things you wish to, but you also have the opportunity to keep things new and fresh by saving some of it for later.
Doesn’t it sound more exciting to have things continue to get better and deeper, and not the other way around? My mister and I took things slow at the start and I can tell you from experience, that with time, we only move closer together, do more together, share more with each other, become more romantic – and I have never experienced something so real. It’s the first time I’ve witnessed the concrete results of taking your time; it is both a beautiful & exciting journey.
When you think about it, this truly does apply to everything. When you first start a job, begin at a pace that you can not only maintain, but excel from. Don’t start off as a star and then downgrade, it’s not a good look! When you first move in with someone, or get married, don’t try to be the perfect husband or wife, cleaning, cooking and doing things that you could never truly sustain. Always leave room for improvement…room for growth.
Respect time, and it will respect you.
Peace, love and more with time,