The other day as I was deep in thought, I asked myself the question: what is the greatest thing you can give to your relationship? And without hesitation, the answer I heard was ‘time and presence’. Something I’m not always so great at.
I often feel like there’s not enough of time, or that I have too much to do and so little of it. It’s a nasty habit that I’m kicking day by day alongside Deepak and Oprah in their latest 21-day meditation.
So, as synchronicity would have it, the following morning I reached for my computer to open the meditation for that day, and here was the message I found:
“In today’s meditation, we explore the benefits that living in the present moment can bring to our personal relationships. Too often our beliefs around time put up barriers and restrictions to the free flow of emotions in intimate relationships. You may feel as if you never have enough time to spend with each other, or when you’re together that one or both of your minds is elsewhere, instead of being fully present with one another. As we become more proficient in living in the present moment, our time with loved ones allows our relationships to deepen and strengthen. When we live in the now, the time we spend together is more fulfilling.”
See, it’s not so much about how much time we spend together, but moreso, the quality of that time. The ability to let go and go with the flow is to live and love fully. No pressure on when, if or how – only pure presence.
Time has been on my mind as I’ve been envisioning life with our son and with my family. Just like it’s important to spend time seeing and hearing my husband with my undivided attention, so I believe it will be with our child.
The way I see it, the quality of time you give to your relationships is akin to charging your phone battery – you need to plug in to keep that connection strong, and the love juices flowing.
In order to truly know the person you’re with – and not your projection of who they are or who you think they should be – you need to spend time listening, sharing, laughing, holding hands, exploring, discussing, exchanging ideas, walking, sitting still, embracing and playing.
Some of the time you spend together will be adventurous, other times need to be more still. In either case, time and presence are the building blocks for deeper, stronger, more impactful connections that last. And this becomes increasingly important over time.
It’s too easy to get side swiped in the daily routines of life, spending time everywhere but in your relationships. There are so many, too many demands on our lives. But our ability to take control and carve out the minutes and hours just to be together, is what keeps us feeling connected and in love. There is no way around this.
Even something as simple as eating breakfast together in the morning or taking a few minutes to hug and appreciate each other, can have a significant impact on the feeling of intimacy between two people.
Time is not the enemy, time is your friend (and mine). Appreciate it and you will see that you have the ability to expand it and expend it on the relationships that mean most to you.
Peace, love and time,