Who’s the first person you turn to when you need love & relationship advice?
If that person happens to be one of your single girlfriends who’s had a streak of bad men in her life, or a friend who’s chronically unhappy in her relationships, it’s time to rethink your strategy. There’s a reason why talking to your friends about your love life is a bad idea.
Unless of course, you have that one special sensei friend who can lead you back to your wisdom.
My advice whenever I speak with any client, male or female is “don’t be talking to your friends about your love life”. Because all too often it’s like the blind leading the blind.
And the truth is, as much as your friends want the best for you, they can’t help but project their shit onto you – and your relationship. They have their own insecurities, jaded experiences and judgements – and in their desire to “protect” you, they often impose their own ideas and possibly misguided perspectives on you.
Then you end up taking action or not, from a place of total unalignment based on the fears and doubts of someone else – when I’m sure you already have enough of your own to deal with.
And often, your friends want to defend and support you…so they agree with you. When sometimes, what you really need is a good kick in the butt and some tough love. Someone to hold up that mirror you’re too afraid to hold yourself.
Then comes the other danger of talking to your friends about your love life; you rally together and start singing those I hate men songs – all of which reaffirm the stories you no longer want to be living. So you keep each other trapped, stuck, unable to move forward towards your positive relationship visions.
There’s a lot to be said for a friend with a good track record and a solid mindset who you can turn to for advice, but there’s way more to be said for the wisdom you can find by looking inside. Where the best advice for you resides.
Peace, love and talking to yourself about your love life,