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He loves me…he loves me not?
When women take it slow in relationships we label that as having high self-worth and self-respect…but, it’s not so often we say the same about men who take their time.
We usually say they’re confusing player types wasting our time.
But sometimes, the man is actually going slow because he takes relationships seriously – he’s taking his time to get to know you and make sure it’s the right fit – because when he commits, he does so whole heartedly.
You gotta be able to make the distinction; and to do that, you gotta use your judgment. But ultimately, your judgment’s going to depend on your perspectives and beliefs.
That’s the tricky part.
I know first hand that my strong intuition and high-self worth (at this point in my life), gave me a lot of clarity in the beginning of my relationship. One that I’m not only lucky to have, but also genuinely proud of, because it’ a beautiful representation of how much I’ve grown and stepped into me. The more grounded, present me, who was able to see him, not through my ego and fear, the way I had done in the past, but through the clear eyes of the present moment. I didn’t project my past experiences onto him, and I didn’t worry (most of the time), about what would happen in the future. I felt his energy where it was in the moment and saw him for who he really was, who he really is.
This was crucial to the success of our relationship because he took his time to express what he wanted out of the relationship and how he felt for me. At least more time than my past experiences or those of my friends.
And while the old me might’ve gotten into my head about it, I got into the present instead. So, it’s like I had this pure knowing that this is a guy with impeccable character, that he’s around because he’s supposed to be and that he’s an absolutely beautiful addition to my life. I had trust in him and most importantly, in myself.
I was able to step outside of the egoic mind (again, most of the time); the mind that wants to know and control everything, instead of actually feel it.
He was (and is) respectful, reliable and awesome company. But had I not been as grounded as I was, I may have perceived things differently…and boy, am I ever glad I didn’t. Because it wasn’t long after, that he started expressing his feelings for me, and telling me he loved me, then asking me to marry him.
I knew that he was taking his time, but that once he committed, it would be real – and I was right.
It won’t always work out that way, and it’s not always meant to. And I know that situations are just as different as peoples’ motivations and intentions. But the only way to distinguish between a man who’s playing you and a man who’s taking you seriously, is by getting right with your heart and nourishing the relationship with yourself. You need clarity to see him clearly.
Peace, love and men who take their time,