You’re a modern woman dating in a modern world – but there’s one burning question you’re still not sure about. Should a woman approach a man?
Before we dive in, let me just say that I totally get the dilemma behind this question. We’ve been taught that men love a chase – and from our experience, this has often proven to be true. So where does that leave us as women? Can we go after what we want, too?
My short answer: Yes.
Now, before you start approaching every hottie you see, let me explain a little further.
While I’m not of the opinion that a woman can’t approach a man, I do think there are a few things to consider. You are after all a valuable Queen.
Let me suggest establishing connection with him with your eyes first – it’s a great way to warm up and possibly, “summon him over”. This allows you to flirt while you remain in your feminine receiving mode, and still have him do the work of coming over to you. If you’re feeling more adventurous, here are some gentle (empowering) guidelines to consider:
1. Detach from the outcome:
So you spotted a guy you find attractive and you’re feeling curious. I want you to only approach him because it’s fun – not because you’re hoping to create something out of it! And for the love of you, please don’t let his reaction (positive or not) be a reflection of your self-worth. If he doesn’t respond the way you hoped for, chalk it up to him being in a relationship or gay. I say, whatever soothes you is a good call here. Again, only go for it if you’re feeling fun and flirty and aren’t concerned about how it turns out! You’re having a good time, and shouldn’t take this too seriously.
2. Check your energy:
Which leads us perfectly into #2. If you’re feeling insecure, this is not the time to be putting yourself out there. While this isn’t about his reaction, if you’re not feeling yourself then talking to him is either your attempt for self-validation or self-sabotage, neither of which will serve you. Before you approach him, make sure you’re feeling light-hearted, free and confident. If you feel called to go for it, then go for it! If not, then opt for a smile instead.
3. Put out what you’re really about:
This idea that you have to be overly sexy to approach a guy is so far off the mark. In fact, all the men I know would much rather a woman didn’t come off overly sexual. If a one night stand isn’t what you’re looking for then you don’t need to lead with sex. Be yourself and don’t over complicate things. A simple “hi, how’s your day/night going” is really enough! You can also try asking a question or asking a favour – like will you hold my coat.
Remember, you never need to force or make something happen; whether flirting from a distance or up close and personal, this is all part of the fun of being single and exploring your options. Keep it light and easy! What is meant for you will find you when the time is right.
Peace, love and confidence,