Like most, I started this year with intense excitement – and then some. Just a few days before the new year and much to my surprise, I found out I was pregnant. I was happy, scared, confused, shocked, a little worried, but mostly in awe of the miracle of life that was forming inside of me.
Then within a week of finding out the news, and just as I was getting used to the idea that my life was about to experience a beautiful turn, I had a miscarriage. If you’ve ever experienced one yourself, you know there are no words to explain the alarm and the sense of losing control that comes in this moment. There’s literally nothing you can do but try your very best to chill out.
Of course, we took our time to grieve; there was a lot of meditation, and I wrote quite a few letters. And when I felt like I had experienced the full gamut of emotions, my perspective started to shift away from what I was “losing” towards what I was gaining – powerful life lessons that will not only carry me through this year, but all the years to come.This is where shifting perspective comes in.
Like that our suffering is tied to the way we label things as good and bad. The more I looked at this as tragic, the sadder I felt. But the moment I chose to accept it as an experience and as part of the process, I felt a huge sense of relief. This doesn’t have to be a bad thing and everything is working out for me.
I’m a very happy person with a pretty amazing life. This experience allowed me to train my muscles to find unconditional joy in a more challenging time. I found my calm in the eye of the storm and I learned how to lean on me. I’m one hell of a strong woman…something I wasn’t always sure of.
And even though I got a lesson in self-soothing, I also learned how truly well-supported I am. There are a lot of people in this life who love me very much, and I don’t take any of it for granted. Oh, and my husband is a superstar.
Self-love is knowing when to slow down and take care of yourself, even when the whole world (or so it seems), is hitting the ground running in the new year.
Alignment before action is always a good idea. Even in my week of rest, I signed my first international client.
My future is far greater than my past; there’s so very much that I have amassed in my future, all of which will be in the right time. And there is no real way for me to grasp the magnitude of my potential. With my eyes on the vision of what’s to come, I was able to gently pull myself out of my present pain.
I also stepped more into the fullness of being a woman; beauty, pain and all. I feel more connected to the female collective than ever before.
It’s not easy not to feel a sense of loss when there’s a life force that enters you and then leaves. As I learn how to tap into that same source of life force within me there’s no loss, only gain.
Beliefs that make you feel at ease are all part of alignment. I believe that when the time is right, I’ll meet again with the same soul who tried coming around the first time. I haven’t lost anything or anyone, it’s more like a “see you soon” – and in the meantime, I’ll be preparing myself.
There’s joy, opportunity, lessons and love to be found even in the greatest challenges. And the point here is that you can replace miscarriage with anything that challenges you personally and take it as a chance to grow, to push your boundaries, expand your beliefs and to shine even brighter with wisdom.
Peace, love and shifting perspective,