It’s no secret (and if it is, where have you been?!) that one of, if not the most, important ingredient to healthy relationships is: self-love.
Now, this isn’t to be confused with the egocentric, selfish and self-absorbed type “love”.
Self-love is stepping out of your ego and into a place of intense self-compassion; it’s the release of self-deprecating thoughts and the embrace of self-empowering ones, it’s the act of self-acceptance and the commitment to self-improvement – ya that’s a whole of lot of “self” talk right there, because that’s what it comes down to – intentionally loving yourself.
Love is energetic food.
When you’re full of love (I don’t know about you, but being hungry is so not my thing) – you bring forth the best version of you and you show up for yourself and others in a real way.
When you starve yourself from your own love, you come from a place of lack and have little to give – and your hunger makes you desperately seek to be fed by others; looking for their attention and eager to soak up anything that even resembles love. It’s not a good look.
…but we’ve all been there. Even if you pride yourself as being someone who knows the importance of self-love, there’s likely been a time in your life when you were a little more on the lacking side. Not a complete loss, but something was missing. I know I’ve been there. Looking for things outside of myself to fulfill a place that didn’t feel entirely whole. But what was missing was a more honest alignment with myself – the self that was quietly knocking and trying to be heard. And the more I bring love in, the clearer that knock and voice.
Self-love requires you to be present with your thoughts; to gently push away the ones that tear you down and call in more of the ones that lift you up.
When you’re good to yourself, not only will it come naturally to you to treat others the same way, but you’ll be so aligned with your “you”ness that relationships, decisions, life, flow a lot more smoothly.
Your relationships will come from a place of want and not need; they’ll be based on a foundation of abundance, not lack; and they’ll be filled with love, not fear.
The incredible thing about self-love, is that once you realize you can regularly tap into it, or even better, to live from it, it’s always there for you. You’re never alone. It’s not whimsical or fleeting. It’s the realest.
So do yourself and your relationships a favour: feed your soul with love…a little today, a little more tomorrow, and some more the next day (and all the days after that:)).
But remember, you don’t reach self-love; you practice it. Which means no one, not you, me or the Dalai Lama, are ever done learning how to gift ourselves the best kind of love, self-love.
Peace, love and that oh-so-sweet self-love,