It can be so tempting sometimes to prove why you’re right…but it doesn’t always make things right.
Holding back from telling someone how you think things went down, can be really, really hard. We tell ourselves that by sharing what we believe happened or what we believe our part is in something, we can make that person understand and that it’ll make it all better.
But seriously, how often does that really work for you?
Usually, it just turns an argument into a fight and everyone’s defenses come up.
Now, I’m not suggesting that you shouldn’t express yourself and give your point of view – but you gotta use your judgment and you gotta be tactful.
Before saying something ask yourself, is this going to change anything? And knowing this person, is this going to bring us closer or further from a resolution?
I don’t know about you, but I’m not tryna waste my time talking to someone who won’t listen, or escalating a minor issue into an ego problem.
The truth is, it’s hard to determine who’s “right” and who’s “wrong”, because everything boils down to perspective. And sometimes, the better thing to focus your energy on is how you can come to a peaceful resolution instead of standing your ground. Especially if the chances of you successfully getting your point across, are slim at best.
I recently found myself in a dilemma.
I received an email that from where I stood, had no factual information and that “accused” me (in a pretty back handed way) of being in the wrong. Well let me tell you, my ego was on fire – and not in a good way. I had SO many things I wanted to say.
And because of that, I decided not to react. I would wait.
After the initial boiling period, I relaxed and didn’t think about it for the rest of the day, or night. By the next morning, I knew just what to say.
And guess what?
It wasn’t any of the things I would have said if I’d answered when I first got that email – and I didn’t try to prove myself right.
I understood that from this person’s point of view, they were right. I also knew from our history, that anything I said would spark a fire and bring no peace.
So, instead of focusing on why I think what was said is bogus, or how in my perspective this email was not reflective of my version of the story, I focused on a solution that would work for the both of us.
One that would take less of my energy than playing a game of who’s right and wrong.
And the best part was, the response I got was more in my favour than I could’ve anticipated.
It’s important when you face situations where your ego is screaming to prove its rightness, to acknowledge why you really want to do that and to assess what you’ll really get out of it.
Just like everything else, it’s a judgment call.
Will this person actually hear you out and understand your side of the story? Or will their ego simply shut you out.
Life is easier if you know when to play the right card.
Peace, love and making things right,