Part 2: He (Or She) Shouldn’t Complete You - 8 Steps To Self-fulfillment
It seems that last week’s article, “He (or she) Shouldn’t Complete You” really resonated with many of you in a positive way – and I couldn’t be happier for that. To further echo the sentiment, I was asked if I could write a second part to this article, describing the actual steps to achieving self-fulfillment. So here we go…
1. Do Things YOU Love
This was one of the greatest things I ever did for myself; to take time from all the responsibilities and commitments I had made and to spend some of it doing things I TRULY enjoyed and felt connected with. In my case, this included writing, taking walks by the water, art projects, exercising, reading & meditating. Doing what you love is one of the best ways to rekindle the relationship with yourself.
2. Love Your Time Alone
Once you start doing things you enjoy more often, you'll naturally love the time you spend alone. Loving the time you spend with yourself is an indicator that you're able to create your own happiness, and don’t require someone else to come in and do it for you. Of course, time enjoyed with others is just as precious; but the ability to love your alone time will take you a long way towards self-fulfillment and a far ways away from dependency.
3. Spending Time in Silence
I always say that the only way to hear your subconscious is by shutting out the noise from time to time and giving it the opportunity to speak to you. You need time spent in silence to allow some of your deepest thoughts and intuitions to surface and reveal themselves. The more you know yourself, the less you seek to find it in others.
4. Learning New Things
One of the things I love most about speaking with others, is the opportunity to learn something new. But also, the more “me” time that you allow in your life, the more time you’ll have to learn about whatever you choose (…and there is so much to be interested in!). Self-growth is just as much about the time you spend with others as it is about the time you spend with yourself – and how you spend it.
5. Stop Looking to Others for Approval
Look to those you trust and care about for guidance but don’t look to them for approval. When you learn to be secure in your decisions, you become a much stronger version of you – and it’s great. You then become the type of person who’s secure in a relationship instead of someone who’s seeking some level of validation from it.
6. Start Self-Trusting
I think most of us have mastered the art of self-doubt; but how about putting as much dedication into a little self-trust? Sure, some decisions are better than others but when you make a decision to do something, stand strong behind it by knowing that whatever you choose, you'll make the best of it. And know that if or when the time comes where that something is no longer right for you, that all you have to do is let yourself out. Be decisive, and trust yourself.
7. Make Peace With What You Really Want
No one's the same. And that's truly one of the most beautiful things about this life. Stop comparing yourself to others and stop giving into what other people think you should be like. The struggle happens when you fight against who you really are.
8. Do something you’re passionate about
Seriously, do this. It can be anything that you feel compelled to put your heart into. Start a project. Make something of your own. Put your stamp on something that thrills you…because I promise you this, we weren’t put on this earth to work, pay bills and stress all day. Whenever you come across something that makes you tick, be grateful for it and give time to it.
The more you become a complete version of YOU the stronger you are in all your relationships. When you’re sure of yourself and the decisions you make, you won’t feel fragile or dependent…never look to an outside source for happiness or fulfillment. Not your employer, your significant other or anyone else for that matter. Allow them to add joy to your life, but make sure you know how to do that all on your own first.