The other day Jack and I were sitting on the couch talking about our days and what we have going on. We were laughing so much that at one point I felt myself “step outside of my body” and observe our dynamic. It was so sweet. We were engaged, in love and truly enjoying each other’s company.
For the next few days, I found myself reflecting on all the ways we keep our love strong. Of course, like in any solid relationship, we communicate our feelings to each other (positive or negative), we show affection and we’re honest with one another – no matter what the risk.
However, as I thought about it further there were 5 things that really stood out to me. Here they are:
1. Our commitment to our own personal growth and alignment:
What does this really mean? Taking the time to create our own joy and continuously learn and expand our knowledge and the connection we have to our individual selves.
Being together makes us both incredibly happy but one thing that sets us apart in a big way is our ability to create our own happiness. For Jack, this looks like reading, listening to music, cooking, appreciating nature and working on renovation projects with his brother. For me, it looks like meditation, reading, coffee dates with girlfriends, working on my biz, and listening to/watching inspirational podcasts and videos.
We’re both committed to being our best selves and being mindful of what kind of energy we’re bringing to the relationship and what kind of partners we’re being.
2. Dedicated time alone:
Whether we’re having a date night, running errands or taking a stroll in the neighbourhood, we have dedicated days and nights that are just for us. This ensures that every week we’ve carved out time to be together just the two of us (soon to be three). We know ahead of time that this is our “family or couple time”. There’s no question about it, life is full; and with this flow that we have in place, time escapes us a little less.
3. Working on “projects” together:
We both have our individual goals, and that’s part of what keeps our dynamic so strong, but the projects we work on together bond us in an even greater way. Sometimes it’s a home project, other times it’s something a little more creative like a photoshoot for my website or more recently, prepping for the birth of our son. The time that we spend creating together is both fun and enriching.
I can say with certainty that this latest “bringing baby into the world project” has helped us reach new heights in our intimacy.
Not only is it such an emotional and exciting process (practicing techniques for the big birthing day, creating space in our home for his little things and imagining our life together as a family), it has also encouraged us to talk about our visions and expectations. There have been a few moments in the last couple of weeks where I’ve really had to unearth some of the emotions I’ve been experiencing to discover the real reason behind them and then communicate them to Jack in a way that he understands, too.
If you want to know if the person you’re with is the “one”, see how well you can “create” with them.
4. Laughing together:
There’s really nothing quite like laughing together, which thankfully, Jack and I do a lot of. Laughter keeps you young, happy and enjoying each other’s company. It signals your presence in a conversation and bonds you by releasing feel-good brain chemicals, otherwise known as endorphins.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it many more times, appreciation is the language of love and acts as the glue to your relationships. With Jack and I, we practice our appreciation on three levels. The first is with our thoughts – we think really nice things about each other and will often come home and tell each other, “I was thinking today about how amazing you are, or how much I love you” (something along those lines). Which brings us to the next level, words. We’re not shy or too proud to tell each other how much we appreciate one another – and we get specific! And finally, we show each other with our actions, otherwise known as level three. We’ll do something we know the other would appreciate or enjoy, like cook a special meal or even something simple, like pick up something one of us mentioned we need.
There are endless ways Jack and I keep our love strong, and I’m excited to keep learning new ways to accomplishing this as our lives evolve from the two of us to the three of us – in just a matter of weeks!
Stay tuned <3
Peace & love,