Now, don’t get it twisted…This isn’t an article about “how to flirt or pick up”.
This is about the way you communicate when you’re having a more “difficult” conversation with your man or woman.
We all know that struggle. There’s something you wanna say, but you just don’t know how to say without causing a stir.
Well, I can tell you from experience that I’ve tried all the ways over my lifetime (yelling, silent treatments, crying…must I go on?); and that there’s nothing quite like speaking clearly, calmly (dare I even say, softly), and slowly.
I have yet to meet someone who responds well to anger, accusations, sadness or any extreme (negative) emotion. People are simply more prone to listen when the person talking to them provides logical, properly and even lovingly, articulated explanations.
I can tell you that in my experience, I’ve always gotten the best response when my approach wasn’t overly emotional or seemingly bias.
When you’re able to keep your emotions at bay (not stifled, but not running the show either), and your tone non-confrontational, if the person you’re talking to is decent and cares about you, they will listen.
That doesn’t mean you’re going to get the response you wish from them right there and then, or maybe even ever, but the message will sit with them, and they will think about it.
Now, if something comes up that makes you want to throw all communication wisdom to the wind and get your dukes up, don’t speak up until you’ve had time to breathe and calm that momentum. Keep your silence and communicate why you’re silent, by saying that you’re upset and need time.
This is a powerful technique that shouldn’t be used as manipulation, because as we all know, people always want to know what’s wrong when we’re not jumping all over them, to tell them.
And that goes to prove my point that communicating from a place of confidence, compassion and clarity is sexy and hard to ignore and it has the power to influence in great ways.
…All of which I hope you’ll use, for the greater good.
Peace, love and how to talk to men (…and women),