Haven’t Met the Love of Your Life - Or Have You?

I often hear women ask how or when they will ever meet that special someone they can depend on to be their companion for life - or at least a good part of it.

While it is entirely possible that these same women have truly never met someone they can be serious with, it is equally just as possible that they have on more than one occasion, and were never able to identify him or her as such because of two main blinders: ego and insecurity.

These two traits can and have made women (and often men too) act in irrational ways, as they blindly try to navigate through relationships. They are traits that make us sabotage ourselves and our relationships with others, because that is the root of their very nature. Ego makes you want and need more, insecurities convince you that you aren't enough; and neither leaves room for the clarity of truth.

This is a classic scenario that I’ve both experienced and observed on many occasions: A woman is seeing a guy who is enjoying her company and taking things slow. The woman starts off on the same page, taking things slow and claiming that she wishes it to be that way - until the mental pot starts stirring. Then all the things she thinks she wants and thinks she deserves start brewing, then boiling, eventually exploding into flames. Instead of truly seeing the person in front of her, she sees her ideals of how things should go and how long they should take, with complete disregard to the person she is actually dating or getting to know. Sure, there are early signs that can tell you her person is a waste of time, at which point a woman who is seeking something more substantial should cut the ties. But remember, there is no formula to creating a life partner; but if there were I believe it would look something like this: everlasting love = taking your time.

The point is that we really shouldn’t be dating until we are able to shed our insecurities and our egos, so that we can clearly see the person and ourselves, without our filter of bullshit. Some people do things differently; they take their time because they take things seriously. And it is up to us to distinguish these people from the bull-shitters...and the only way to do that, is by taking off the blinders. Don’t continue to brush off or dispose of people that could have been great partners, because of certain ideals that you and your lady friends have devised (out of fear of being betrayed). See and appreciate the person you are dating, take your time to observe without fear and doubt, and allow love to develop over the course of time.

Peace, love and sayonara egos and insecurities,

Diana