Don’t Decide if He or She is the One for You
How often have you witnessed yourself or one of your friends, deciding that someone you’ve just met or are currently dating is the one for you?
I’ve done it and chances are you’ve done it and someone(s) you know’s done it – it’s a dangerous game. When we cling onto the idea that someone we’ve just met who is seemingly perfect for us, is going to play a big part in our lives (if not be in it forever), we either become blinded to their faults, in hopes of solidifying our beliefs or start fabricating ones that don’t exist in an effort to protect ourselves. Both are equally wrong …and equally crazy.
If you’re not entirely sure what I mean, allow me to paint a clearer picture. You (or your friend) are dating someone, who you so desperately want to believe is the “one”, that you suddenly become hyper sensitive to everything they do – or don’t do. You’ve basically come to a decision that this is going to be someone special in your life (whether he or she knows it or not), before any real evidence shows that this could possibly be true. So let's say you start dating someone and after about a month of enjoying your time together, the expectations start rolling in. You start noticing all the things they're not doing, as you should. But instead of getting anxious about it, and wanting to jump to quick conclusions or wondering how you can get them to do exactly what you want, this is where "putting it in your pocket" comes in. Only time and the continuous actions or lack thereof of this person will determine if they're really meant to take up a significant space in your life.
Like I’ve said time and time again: allow time to reveal who someone really is, and what their place in your life should really be – if any at all. Allow his or her actions to be the deciding factor. Don’t force (there’s a major difference between forcing and trying) things in your life, especially not with love; your heart and your life are too precious to give away so easily. Observe with time before coming to quick conclusions about someone’s character and someone’s compatibility with you, one way or another. Let your fate with this person unfold itself organically, without pulling the strings in the background - it’s the only way you’ll see the person in front of you through clear lenses.
Take your blinders off (otherwise known as ego and insecurity), place trust in yourself and enjoy the journey. But most of all, chill homie! Life's actually a lot of fun when you learn to lean into it.
Peace, love and organic unfolding,
Diana