A Powerful Client Experience -- How Her Relationship is Now the Best it's Ever Been

We’re doing things a little differently today. With the intention of mixing things up, and keeping our (as in mine and yours) relationship fresh, I’m sharing a success story of a client of mine, written in her words. 

No editing, no filter. This is Emily’s story of how she went from being highly triggered inside of her relationship to now experiencing it as the best it's ever been. 

Her story is relatable, inspiring, and practical.  

Enjoy… “Before I started working with Diana, I was stuck in a loop.  

Something would happen in my relationship—such as, my boyfriend wouldn't give me the attention I wanted in the moment—and I would immediately start to spiral.  

This spiral always led to the same thought: is this the right person for me?  

I started working with Diana because I was so sick of this loop and sick of feeling non-committal.  

We had been dating for a year and he was the first person I'd ever considered for the long-term. I hadn't ever thought I wanted to get married and have kids before him. 

 ...so why was I dropping into this negative thought loop every time I didn't get what I wanted?  

I did a one-month intensive with Diana; within about 10 minutes of our first meeting Diana helped me uncover a massive, deeply rooted truth:  

I didn't trust myself not to self-destruct.  

What was happening in my relationship was that whenever I was triggered, my body was sending "get out while you still can!" signals, even though I didn't want to get out.  

I wanted to be in this relationship and I wanted to stop those signals.  

Over the last month and a half, I've learned to bring awareness to when these signals are going off and rather than feeding into them, I immediately do something different: 

 I get in the shower, I take a walk, I create some space for myself to calm my body down, to get out of the fight/flight, and to try to tap into gratitude for my partner.  

This space helps me figure out if I do need to communicate something to my partner and if I do, how to do it from a place of love and vulnerability rather than blame, fear and demand. 

 I had these self-regulation tools before I worked with Diana, but what I didn't have was the awareness of that deeply rooted truth.  

As soon as that was exposed, it no longer controlled me.  

The communication practice has helped me not only choose different behavior, but also better approach my partner with compassion. 

Here's a tangible example of how I've changed and how it's impacted my relationship.  

My lease is up in two months and we've been dating a year. Naturally, it was time for the move-in conversation. But, it didn't really go as I'd planned. I'd felt ready to move in with him. He wasn't so sure yet and he didn't really know why.  

He kept saying, "but my youthfulness!".  

For me, moving in wasn't about signing up for "forever", it was about just going into deeper waters.  

For him, it meant he was making a decision for the long haul.  

Historically it's been really hard for him to share his feelings, especially if they aren't what I want to hear.  

But, this time I didn't demand him, I didn't throw a temper tantrum because I didn't get what I wanted, and I didn't turn it into a huge thing about how he doesn't love me.  

I created space for this to actually be a conversation. 

I was able to finally stay rooted in the fact that he does love me, but he needs time to adjust to new changes. I know this about him.  

Things are always smoother with us when we move slow.  The incredible part of all of this is that even though it's not happening right now, we did take a step forward: we've decided we are moving in together...in six months :)  

He's going to find us the apartment of our dreams and gets six months to adjust to the change...and I get to know that my boyfriend is committed to me for the long haul (and okay, I also get many mornings to myself still).  

I experienced a ton of trauma as a kid and have done extensive healing work both on my own and with professionals as an adult.  

I've released layers and layers of old stories.  

But there was a very deep story that I hadn't yet uncovered—there's no doubt in my mind that Diana helped me do that.  

The experience with her was profound. 

I feel like I got years worth of relationship, inner child, and somatic healing therapy in just one month.  

We cut through the bullshit and went straight to the depths of what was holding me back in my relationship.  

My relationship is the best it's ever been.  

We're still learning and growing and we always will be, but I feel so much more committed, confident, and secure in my relationship after just one month with Diana.  

I am forever grateful.” 

I’m curious, what does this story bring up for you? What do you believe is holding you back from experiencing love in the way you most crave it? And how would things change if you got the support (aka a loving kick in the butt from me) you needed to propel you forward? 

Seriously, I’d love to know! 

Sending love,

Diana