Being Married Isn't a Permission Slip to Throw it All Away

Marriage isn’t a license to stop caring about how you show up for each other.

And yet, I see this all the time.

Heck, I’ve been doing this myself recently, too.

When we’re in the early stages of dating, and we’ve moved past our anxious and/or avoidant tendencies, we tend to have this beautiful awareness and intentionality around our relationships.

This can often slip away when we move into the deep family phase.

Behaviours you might not allow for yourself when you’re dating can start to show up years down the line.

• Calling multiple times in a row when your partner isn’t answering.

• Saying whatever you want to say, whenever you want to say it – throwing all tact and timing away.

• Criticizing him more than appreciating him.

• Reducing sexual intimacy to an act you “have” to do.

• Putting your or his needs on the backburner, for far too long.

Perhaps it’s that your nervous system needs some fine tuning, or that you feel entitled at this stage in the game, or there’s some taking for granted, taking place.

Perhaps it’s resentment that’s built up. A symptom of not communicating.

Perhaps it’s a lack of effort, on your part, his, part, or both.

Whatever the reason, it deserves your attention.

Because keeping the love alive inside of your marriage is not a given. It is a conscious choice, an intentional act. 

What would it take for you to bring the intentionality back?

With love,

Diana