Do I dare say that reactions rival words in their storytelling abilities? Whether it’s a good reaction or not, your reactions are worth a thousand words – and reveal much of your truth.
Sometimes you`re surprised with a wonderful gift and immediately burst into tears – this probably means you’re deeply touched and love (or possibly strongly dislike;)) what you see. Other times your boyfriend gets a text message that doesn’t sit well with you and you go bat shit crazy. This probably means you`re harboring an ocean of insecurities about yourself, your relationship or both and that there’s room for improvement in your emotional maturity.
Sometimes things happen that make your knees go weak, or that take you completely by storm. This is life. But what matters, is your ability to:
- recognize situations that you need not be in.
- remove yourself when need be.
- breathe and maintain composure.
Your ability to carry yourself with dignity and remain calm in the eye of a storm will set you apart from the masses in every situation. It also prevents you from overreacting, saying and doing things that you later regret and behaving in a way that disrespects yourself and the person in front of you. Not to mention it helps you avoid a lot of unnecessary stress.
To help you find your unconditional calm, I have three suggestions.
The first is a regular meditation practice. Meditation helps you cultivate mindfulness, and mindfulness gives you the opportunity to pause and choose your reaction.
My second suggestion, which calls on the mindfulness you cultivate from meditation is to take three deep breaths when something happens that takes you by initial surprise. This moment of pausing, and calming your nerves puts you in the driver’s seat and once again, allows you to be the chooser of your reaction.
Finally, should the situation allow it, I suggest writing it out. Write down the facts vs assumptions and allow yourself to respond based solely on the facts. You’ll also find the practice of writing quite therapeutic – and the time it takes you to write through a scenario also gives you the time and space to find your way back to calmness.
Your ability to remain calm no matter what the situation is your greatest super power. It allows you to see the situation clearly and to choose (instead of involuntarily react) how you wish to respond with both your words and actions. Remember, clarity always comes from calmness.
Peace, love and calm reactions,