“We love each other, but lately we’re fighting all the time. We’re often on each other’s nerves and seem to disagree about everything. Sometimes, I wonder if he’s the one.”
I’ve heard versions of this statement time and time again, coupled with the question of is this how relationships are supposed to be? But even as the question is being asked, I know they know, it absolutely isn’t. And the question that often comes next is, what is a healthy relationship?
While this list may not reflect every detail of what a healthy relationship looks and feels like – it certainly helps paint the picture.
10 Signs of a Healthy Relationship
1. You have disagreements, but you rarely, if ever, fight.
Disagreements are not only inevitable, they’re healthy. They present an opportunity, if you allow yourself to see them that way, to listen to and to learn from your partner. They also give you a chance to practice communicating your point of view. Disagreements, that don’t turn into fights, have the potential to help you better know and understand your partner, and to build your closeness. They bring clarity to subjects that may affect your relationship and that reveal who you both are on a deeper level. And unlike fights, they push out the ego and draw in more love.
2. There’s you, your partner and you as a couple
You both know how to exist as individuals and how to exist as a couple. In other words, there are things you do on your own to take care of yourself and to nurture all the moving parts of your life. There’s also the time and space where you nurture the partnership, your relationship. If I was to give a visual representation of this concept, it would look this simple:
3. Gratitude is part of the dialogue
Couples who express their gratitude for life and for each other, create a good vibe environment for their relationship. They also encourage each other, to keep being good to one another. As we all know, positive feedback is motivation to keep up the good work. Gratitude fosters more love and fulfillment.
Check out my three part series on gratitude – yes 3 parts! Because gratitude is that awesome. The Gift of Gratitude Pt. 1, The Gift of Gratitude Pt. 2: How it Builds Relationships, The Gift of Gratitude Pt. 3: How to Cultivate Gratitude
4. You laugh together…a lot
Laughter is a sign that you two actually get along, and that you enjoy each other’s company. It’s contagious and releases endorphins that create more happiness. The ability to be in this good humour together will carry you through the difficult times and make you truly appreciate the good ones. And let’s be honest, laughing is a hell of a lot of fun.
5. You respect each other’s opinions
And actually enjoy learning from each other. This is one of the most important elements of a healthy relationship – with anyone. Respecting the way someone’s mind works is a sign of admiration and appreciation; and it creates fertile grounds for learning. This allows your relationship, a place where you invest so much of your time, to stimulate your mind and play an important part in your journey of personal growth.
6. You have similar life goals
Nothing spells breakup like two people who talk about living their life together – just not the same life. No matter how much you love someone, if you plan on living your life with them, you’re inevitably going to need to have similar visions. No one way of living is better than the other, but it’s important that your ideas about how you want to spend your days and what kind of future you want to build, are in pretty close comparison.
7. You think of each other’s happiness
When two people consider each other’s happiness first, there’s a natural balance between each person’s wants and needs, and there’s a palpable energy of love. Both of your needs are taken care of, and once, again, gratitude is free flowing.
8. You cheer each other on
You spend a lot of time with this person, but that doesn’t mean you can’t and won’t also create the time to pursue your goals – and having the support of someone so close to you, is elevating and motivating. When the support is mutual, you’re both propelled forward towards everything you desire. There’s no resentment – just two people, rooting each other on.
9. You feel lucky to have them in your life
But you know you don’t own them, and that they’re not your possession. They are free to think, learn or even change their mind about being with you. You truly respect each other as individuals, and you’re genuinely grateful to be in their life, at least, for this moment.
10. You don’t just love each other
You like each other. As we may have all experienced, just because you love someone, doesn’t necessarily mean you like them. But when two people in a relationship genuinely like each other, they’re not only lovers, they’re friends. They don’t feel stuck with each other, they feel so incredibly lucky to know that person, and to hold such a special place in their life.
Peace, love and healthy relationships,
P.S. Make sure to check out yesterday’s episode of Ask Diana TV, Relationships Q&A with Diana and Jack, where my husband sits behind the camera asking me questions about relationships, and some about our own. There are quite a few gems in there!